2010 Movies Guide
Unfortunately, we at Movie Moron are impatient as all get out. Screw patience. We’re already looking ahead to 2010 and its silver screen offerings, and we’d like you to join us. We’ll be your crazy, wild-eyed old man. Below is a list of our 20 most anticipated movies, 2010. Pay attention, Marty…
Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott, Adam Brody, Jason Lee
Director: Kevin Smith
Release Date: 26th February 2010
Cop Out is the first movie from Kevin Smith that he hasn’t written himself. It’ll be interesting to see how he takes on someone else’s material while no doubt retaining his distinctive voice. The concept appears to be a straightforward buddy comedy about a couple of cops but Smith should be able to elevate the familiar ground he has to cover. Maybe elevate isn’t the right word, more like bring it down to his level. Whatever he does, we can’t wait to see it and that’s why Cop Out makes the list.
Director: Rian Johnson
This movie is a bit of an enigma. Still in the very early stages of development, little is known about the project plot-wise, and there are no stars attached. In fact, it’s the only film on the list with no actors on board, so the fact that it even makes the list says a lot. It says we love Brick, we really like The Brothers Bloom, and we are super-stoked to see Rian Johnson tackle an ultraviolent time-travel movie. Rian Johnson builds worlds, he takes ordinary surroundings and injects them with the uncanny, and he does this in high school movies and con-men movies. What is he going to do with a sci-fi movie, a genre where such mish-mashing and world-building is de rigueur?
18. The Last Airbender
Starring: Noah Ringer, Dev Patel, Jackson Rathbone, Nicola Peltz
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Release Date: 2nd July 2010
Possibly the most divisive movie on the list. Shyamalan is loved by some and loathed by others, but there’s no denying that The Happening was an all-time low, resulting in some declaring The Last Airbender a flop before hearing a single line of dialogue. But it’s not just the Shyamalan apologists that are praying for this movie to be good, it’s fans of the source material. Avatar: The Last Airbender was one of Nick’s most popular shows, a well animated, action-packed, humorous and intelligent piece of television with a mythos to rival Star Wars and an appeal well beyond its target demographic.
Starring: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis
Directors: Albert & Allen Hughes
Release Date: 15th January 2010
You didn’t know you wanted a post-apocalyptic showdown between Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman, but the guys that made Menace II Society did, so they went ahead and made The Book of Eli for you. It’s about, naturally, the titular book, a tome that may be the key to man’s salvation. Denzel defends the book, Oldman does the opposite. Comic Book artist Chris Weston did design work for the film, and says on his blog that ‘you’ll get to see Denzel Washington kick serious arse in this film… ‘Man on Fire’ is a mere taster compared to the righteous vengeance he rains down on the scum in this film’. We recommend ‘rains down on the scum’ become a phrase that you use regularly, not only because you’ll sound epic, but to familiarise yourself with the concept so as to prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed when you witness Mr Washington in all his arse-kicking glory.
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen
Director: Greg Mottola
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Jesse Williams, Amy Acker
Director: Drew Goddard
14. Piranha 3D
Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames
Director: Alexandre Aja
Release Date: 20th August 2010
13. The A-Team
Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper
Director: Joe Carnahan
Release Date: 11th June 2010
Smoking Aces was insane. And while it wasn’t spectacularly successful, it is proof that director Joe Carnahan may be able to breathe some life into The A-Team. As , Well-known television characters in a high-octane cinematic adaptation can be a very good thing, as evidenced by the Star Trek reboot. Liam Neeson will be taking on the role of Hannibal, and although it’s been argued that his on screen persona differs considerably from that of previous Hannibal, George Peppard, Taken proved he can do action, and how many other actors have trained Obi-Wan Kenobi and Batman? Man of the moment Bradley Cooper will play Face, a role originated by Dirk Benedict (the lesser of two Starbucks). Fighter-for-a-living Quinton Jackson has the impossible job of replacing Mr.T.
Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz
Director: Michel Gondry
11. Alice In Wonderland
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway
Director: Tim Burton
Release Date: 5th March 2010
As per usual, the visuals of the latest Tim Burton project, Alice In Wonderland, look stunning. Newcomer Mia Wasikowskia plays Alice in the loose adaptation of Carroll’s treasured novel, alongside Burton mainstays Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen. The only troubling aspect of this is the ‘loose’ part of the loose adaptation; unlike the previous adaptations Burton has made (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, etc.) this film will take more liberties with the source material. It features a considerably older Alice returning to Wonderland. That sounds a bit like Hook. But we’re confident it won’t be met with the same lukewarm reception, and that Burton thrills us with a wild and wacky world as he has in the past.
10. A Nightmare On Elm Street
Starring: Jackie Earle Haley
Director: Samuel Bayer
Release Date: 16th April 2010
Freddy Krueger, the dream-dwelling killer first brought to cinema screens in 1984, is back. But this time actor Robert Englund is going to be watching it in the cinema with the rest of us. Exec-producer Michael Bay is hitting the Batman Begins/Star Trek reboot button in an effort to restart the horror franchise as he did with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There’s only one reason this has ranked so highly on our list – the casting of Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy. He was terrific as Rorschach in Watchmen. But can he deliver? Knife-fingers are crossed.
9. Clash Of The Titans
Starring: Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes
Director: Louis Letterier
Release Date: 2nd April 2010
8. Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett
Director: Ridley Scott
Release Date: 14th May 2010
Starring: Michael Cera, Jason Bateman, David Cross, Will Arnett, Portia de Rossi
Director: Mitchell Hurwitz
Even though most white people prefer to say that they don’t watch television, one thing they agree on is that Arrested Development was the best show on TV. They love it so much! The love it for a number of reasons. Firstly, since the show was cancelled before it jumped the shark, it’s effectively like a rocker that dies at 27. Also, the show got terrible ratings, meaning that it wasn’t ‘mainstream,’ which makes white people love it unilaterally. Other examples of shows like this are Twin Peaks and The Ben Stiller Show. They also love it because there are a few references to white popular culture, and if there is one thing that white people love, it’s cultural references that they understand (see Garden State, The Onion, and Juno for examples). If you are ever a white person’s house, and you see an orange box in their DVD collection, you should say “oh, you have Arrested Development, I love that show!” To which you will be offered a glass of wine, and perhaps an invitation to 80s night. Also of note: the hip hop group Arrested Development is also loved by white people.
We’ve seen Arrested Development alumni go on to make their mark in cinema, but they are allegedly all locked to return to their TV characters, and we couldn’t be more excited by the prospect. Hopefully it’ll be a success.
6. The Expendables
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Release Date: 13th August 2010
5. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin
Director: Edgar Wright
Release Date: 13th August 2010
One of the greatest indie comic books in recent history, Scott Pilgrim, is an epic love story, a teen comedy and a bizarre action piece set in Canada. Influenced by video games, music, manga and real life it really is like nothing else. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing out.
4. Tron Legacy
Starring: Garrett Hedlund, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Release Date: 17th December 2010
Tron was ahead of its time. Now is that time. While the first film amazed with its vision and FX, it still managed to bore with its pace, but on the basis of this concept trailer, the sequel has managed to get the balance just right. The plot sees Flynn’s son enter Tron to find out what happened to his father (Jeff Bridges) all those years ago. Looks spectacular.
3. Toy Story 3
Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Michael Keaton
Director: Lee Unkrich
Release Date: 18th June 2010
Pixar: the most dependable movie studio around. Coming off of Wall-E and Up, they’re returning to their roots, the movie that made their name, Toy Story. Ordinarily, threequels are something to dread, and unnecessary sequels to animated movies often feel every bit as superfluous as they actually are (yes, you, Shrek). But Pixar can (virtually) do no wrong at this point, and the first two Toy Story movies are such bona fide modern classics that you can’t help but be excited about the further misadventures of Woody and Buzz.
2. Iron Man 2
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke
Director: Jon Favreau
Release Date: 7th May 2010
“I am Iron Man.” How could you not be desperate to see a sequel after Robert Downey Jr delivered that line at a press conference in the final scene of Iron Man? In the superhero sequel tradition, this installment promises to be bigger, and has heightened fanboy expectations. Scarlett Johansson is Natasha – Tony Stark’s replacement red-head assistant now that Paltrow’s Pepper Potts has been promoted – she’s also secretly superspy Black Widow. Rourke plays angry Russian ‘Whiplash’, Iron Man’s nemesis along with Sam Rockwell’s Justin Hammer. Terrence Howard is probably (like the rest of us) still in shock after getting Cheadled, and Olga Kurylenko can’t believe she didn’t get Johansson’s part. She refuses to take the costume off, it’s kind of embarrassing…
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hardy
Director: Christopher Nolan
Release Date: 16th July 2010
Nothing else could have been number one, not after 2008, not after The Dark Knight. It. Was. Awesome. Due in no small part to the genius of Christopher Nolan, a director with an enviable track record, who now turns his attentions to the sci-fi genre with Inception, a movie shrouded in Cloverfield-levels of mystery. We know Ken Watanabe is blackmailing Leonardo DiCaprio, who’s married to Marion Cotillard and works with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page, but that’s it. Oh, and, it’s set within ‘the architecture of the mind’, which could mean anything at this point. Inception is our number one most anticipated on the basis of the acting talent involved, and the phenomenal director.
Here are the top 10 movies according to critics this year (via Rotten Tomatoes):
1. Toy Story 3
2. How to Train Your Dragon
4. Exit Through The Gift Shop
5. The Social Network
6. True Grit
7. The Town
8. The Kids Are All Right
9. Winter’s Bone
10. The King’s Speech
And the top 10 according to the public (user voted on IMDB):
1. Inception – 9.0 / 10
2. Black Swan – 8.9
3. Toy Story 3 – 8.7
4. The Social Network – 8.2
5. How To Train Your Dragon – 8.2
6. Tangled – 8.1
7. Kick-Ass – 8.0
8. Shutter Island – 8.0
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I – 7.9
10. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – 7.9